This is my first completed week following the continued reduction of Gabapentin.
Morning 100mg Afternoon 100mg Night 200mg
Coming off Gabapentin is causing me major problems. I’ve been on this for so long, my body not only accepts this as normal, but is doing everything it can to maintain the full dose! This is addiction and I think it is the same for any type of addiction that people are trapped in. However, the withdrawals, I believe, are very much dependant on the drug that is the route of the addiction. Not all drugs are equal. I came off Morphine and I thought this would be the worst it could be, but I was so wrong! It is obvious to me now, that it depends on what the drug is doing and how it interacts with your body and how the individual is able to cope with this.
I’m studying Gabapentin and will write a piece about it soon.
I’m having lots of physical affects, such as a continual headache on the left side of my head. It’s not severe, but is a constant deep, dull ache. My temperature is up one minute and down the next, I’m either putting another top on or taking it off. My heart seems quite erratic and can race a bit too much. My GTN seems to help with this. I feel very distant. What I mean by this is everything seems to be going on around me, as though I’m observing from some other place. This very much seems to go along with, what I call, my absences. This is where I shift from being here, in the moment and not; like shifting between being in a dream and being awake. My neurologist said these are caused by mini seizures, petit mals.
One of the main problems is my ghost, my hallucinations, what I see, hear and feel. It seems that I’m more aware. I do think not having Finn here, doesn’t help. You see, when I would become aware of something, that feeling of something walking over your grave thing, I would automatically look for Finn, who was always just there and if he was unaware, I would find myself almost switching off. Finn would confirm that what I was experiencing was not real and, while I continued to see, hear, or feel these things, I could accept them. I know this sounds strange, but this was normal for me. Now, without Finn, I’m finding I don’t have that check and my anxiety is increasing as I seem to experience them more and more. It feels as if they are getting out of control.
The other big problem is my seizures. If I have a major, grand mal, seizure, once a month, then that was about normal. Sometimes I could go longer than this without any at all, but I cannot remember when I was suffering more than this, till now! Over the last week, I have had two!
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