Citalipram… still got a hold!


It has been a month since I reduced Citalopram and it still got a hold of me.

Things that are different from the beginning of the month:

Continual numb headache. These have eased.

Upset stomach and urgency to go: Still have this, but trying to control with my lifestyle and eating pattern. To feel this is something I haven’t done for a very long time, so I think this is why it is hard to deal with, but I’ll persevere, for the next month.

Dizzy spells: not as bad; I don’t think.

Out of space, spatial awareness strange: I still feel very distant from my hands and legs. The movement feels like it is delayed, or in slow motion.

Panicking that something is wrong, with me, outside and worse with my son and daughter: Still have these feelings of something wrong, but do not think so bad.

My vision is blurred and has been like this for as long as I can remember. It seems to keep changing for the constant rotating thing to being more jittery: No change.

Lack of taste and strange taste; like sucking an old coin: I’m not sure if this has got better, or if I have just got used to it. I still have these uncontrollable bouts of sickness, but I have had these for quite a while.

Worst of all, I have had several blackout/seizures. I’m not sure if they are seizures as it seems different. I’m not aware of them coming on, but when I recover, I feel more on a high, panicking to get moving, my heart beats erratically, and I cannot switch off: I’m still having blackouts, but less. What I am aware of is my absences, I’m becoming aware of them. It used to be that I would feel as if I would awake from them and suddenly become aware that I missed a moment, without any recall of it. Now, I feel like I’m aware of being in a different place; a dark place.

Sleep is terrible, and I keep waking to something all the time: I think my sleep is better, but not good. I hate this sleep. I’m asleep, or awake, with nothing in between and it just goes on and on throughout the night.

I’m not giving up on stopping Citalopram. This next month I will not be changing anything else. Hopefully, there will be improvements. There has to be!

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