Well, it’s my phone that’s buzzing. It keeps telling me that, ‘The sound is too loud!’ So, I take the phone off and the sounds OK then!
Today is the 100th song of my year-long marathon of learning, singing and recording a song every day of 2021.
You may be thinking, why did I come up with this crazy idea? Well, it wasn’t to become famous or make money, it was because I was scared!
Being told I had Dementia after a long time of continual, monotonous, and I would say useless testing, I saw the final nail prepared and ready to be hammered into my coffin! No advice, help or guidance was given during or after that so-called diagnosis procedure, only that final, ‘There is no treatment!’
I realised I was now drifting from one day to the next, with nothing in those days. No new memories made or memories recalled. Each day was the same, empty, meaningless and dark space, with the only goal or step being my inevitable death! I must stress this is my life and my thoughts; I’m sure there are many that may enjoy this monotonous lifestyle; it’s just not for me! Enjoyment of your life by being happy with it is what I seek and think we all wish.
So, I wanted something to get up for! I like music, I have lots of songs, I have my computer, put them together and I thought I’ll sing a song every day!
When I started in December of last year, it wasn’t pleasant. I was recording using the mike built into the computer and finding songs on youtube to sing along with and recording them using the recorder app that was a part of the system. It was really awful, so if I were to continue, I would have to look at how to improve my setup to record.
This set me researching what I needed for my home/bedroom studio. I was writing down notes, checking this, checking that, making decisions on what I need and what I would buy. All of a sudden, my day was full. I was looking forward to the next day. I was planning what I would be doing next, and my brain was lighting up!
Within a few weeks, I was feeling more alive than I had for years. Something so simple had been the seed of my coming back. TV’s constant drip-feeding of mush was no longer daily subduing me. I had a purpose, nothing major, nothing substantial in the world scheme of things, but I was happy with life for me.
I now have my studio; well, it is still my bedroom, but it sounds better calling it the studio, and everybody does it! Mine’s called, ‘The Demented Road Studios.’
With each song, I’m learning more. I’m having to learn how to use a program for recording and compiling songs. For those interested, I use Logic Pro X. I’ve changed my microphone a few times and started sourcing backing tracks and lyrics. I’m taking a few courses on singing, music and using Logic Pro X. Most of this has been a steep learning curve, but I think it is getting better with each step! I’m hooked, I want to do more, but then I realised that something far more important was going on!
I’m profoundly deaf and suffer from Tinnitus, but I think I hear better, and my Tinnitus doesn’t seem to be bothering me so much unless I think of it! My speech is better too. These are things you may think are obvious, but other items may not be so obvious.
I don’t have much fine motor skills with my right hand, I can swing a hammer, but I can’t draw or write. I didn’t have much feeling. It felt dead or numb, but I’m starting to get pins and needles in my fingers, and I find I’m trying to use my right hand more. I’ve even put my computer mouse back on the right side to try and use. Not always good, but getting there.
I’m getting better at not multitasking; I think this is the term used for something that isn’t good for us. I mean, I start something, then I start something else, then another and another, until something goes bang. For me, it is usually the cup under the devilish kettle that hates me!
This problem had been getting worse over time. For some, it must be the work commitments that get you trying to do everything at once, but that couldn’t be the case with me; I didn’t have anything to do! That was the problem. I was drifting, and my mind was wandering aimlessly along from one thing to another. I wasn’t stopping and giving time to anything in particular, and the result nothing is done, just a fair bit of mess, with a few sharp words!
With my daily singing challenge, I have to focus and complete a single task; otherwise, nothing works. I have to follow a procedure, a plan, a schedule. This is of my own design, and no one is compiling this for me. So, here is another benefit of my challenge. I’m sorting out my daily life. I’m actively taking control of what I do, when and how. It doesn’t always work or go to plan, but it’s there, and I’ve done it and not just been passively shepherded along each and every moment of the day.
I was told that learning would be difficult! I thought this was true. Another moment where I just accepted what the so-called experts said. It’s not true. I’m learning every day, and the more I understand, the more I need to know! Learning is difficult for us all! If gaining knowledge isn’t difficult, then you are not learning anything!
I’m online now too! Well, I’m trying. I’ve started a blog that amazingly links to Twitter and Facebook things. I am finding contacting people difficult, but this has given me an outlook that I hadn’t ever considered, and I’m sure the experts would say it is impossible. I try and respond to comments made and make my song post and Dementia Blog interesting, but very few ever read stuff here. It seems to me that millions are talking, and no one is listening. I suppose those millions are just like me, finding a voice, longing to share, but how do you find and read so much!? You end up with either small groups that share and become their own thing, or so-called, well known people with thousands of oblivious followers, with post that no one reads, not even the person they’re following! It seems that they want more followers so they can send out more ads and get you buying or contributing more!
Enough of me going on!
My challenge to learn, sing and record a song every day has been a life changer and a lifesaver! I will continue for my own sake. If anyone else gets enjoyment from it, then that is a happy bonus!
I think if you are going nowhere and drifting from one empty day to another, then find a challenge for yourself. The potential benefits are immeasurable!
I’m looking forward to the following hundred songs and wondering what adventures I’ll be taking on the way and how much more I’ll discover about myself!
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